Wart do you want? (practising bad puns for when I become editor of Odd Spot)
About a week ago I discovered a growth on my thumb. It didn't belong and was a bit tender to touch. I suspected it might be a wart. I know, ew.
Let me tell you I have never had warts, and I don't intend to start now. Warts belong on witches and toads, not on me.
It looked not unlike this:
Fig 1: Not actual thumb depicted, this is another similar growth that has since appeared on my middle finger. But this is what it did look like. Not much, just a little red raised lump. Like my macro work, Deb?
So, I went immediately to the Chemist and asked if she had something for warts. I didn't even want to say it out loud, it's such an icky word.
She examined my thumb and said it didn't look like a wart. Warts are hairy. I asked what else it could be. She said maybe it was a blister. It was not a blister.
So I got the wart stuff and went home. It is quite complicated - you have to put something around the wart to protect the rest of your skin, then apply the stuff, and then cover with a bandaid. And then try not to get it wet. Yeah right.
I used clear nail polish around it as suggested, and diligently applied the stuff every day for a week. I did get it wet, you can't really help that with showers and hand washing and such.
Now, it looks like this:
Fig 2: Actual thumb depicted.
Notice how red and angry looking the thing is? It hurts like buggery. I have effectively been burning a hole in my thumb with acid. Now I don't really know what to do about it. Continue until there is no sign of a wart left or I reach bone, whichever comes sooner? Put burn cream on it to try and heal it? It looks like it will scar, so now rather than having a big ugly wart on my thumb I will have a big ugly scar. Just what a pianist needs!
And if you read the fineprint earlier you will have noticed that another one of these growths has sprung up on my middle finger of the other hand. I'm not burning this one off, I'll wait and see what it does.
If anyone has any experience with warts and/or is a dermatologist - please help??? I was so afraid of having ugly warty hands that I may have made a big mistake trying to burn this thing off...
In other news I am cranky with Chester today because he did a big pee on the carpet right by the front door. And this is not an isolated incident - he has done several pees in the house recently. The annoying thing is I can't really even tell him off, it's not his fault.
Chester is totally housetrained and knows not to pee inside. He can usually hold on for a very long time - all night and then some. Since he started collapsing etc, the vet told me to keep him out of the heat, and not take him for walks (there is a strong possibility something around his heart could explode). So I have been keeping him inside a lot. Also when I try to put him outside when I go out, he often refuses to come. And I am a big softie and let him stay inside. Furthermore, he is on fluid tablets which should make him pee more.
So when I went to the gym and it was raining, I let him in the house, and came home to wet carpet. Not his fault really. He is currently outside, squeaking to be let in. I am being strong.
Yes, the gym, I went again today! That's three times this week. It was a good workout today, short and to the point. There was a girl there doing some amazing balancing stuff on one of those fitballs, and I wondered whether she is a gymnast or circus performer. I must have been staring because a middle-aged sweaty man asked me whether I can do that. "Nowhere near," I replied, startled out of my circus fantasy.
I was a bit annoyed because my i-pod shuffle that I used once before it stopped working has been fixed - YAY - but I forgot to bring it - BOO! Putting it in the gym bag right now so I can't forget again.
I bought two tambourines yesterday. Our producer has always complained that mine sounds shit on tape (even though it has cool gold stars on it) and a tambourine part is the last thing I have left to record on the album. So I went to buy a new one and was shocked by just how many different sounding tambourines there are. I thought it would be a straightforward purchase!!! In the end I couldn't decide and they are pretty cheap so I got two - both wooden, one mahogany with one row of "jingles" and one plywood I think, something cheaper, but with two rows of jingles. The one I already have is a RhythmTech, that is the standard professional tambourine and costs 3 times as much as the others I bought. So I am skeptical about whether they'll be better. I asked Robbie about it later, and he said it's not necessarily the brand, but each individual tambourine sounds different. So you can get good RhythmTech ones and bad ones. You have to go through the whole box. Apparently. I'm sure I couldn't hear the difference between them, but there is a surprising amount of difference between the different brands/styles. So we'll see how we go. Surely with 3 options we'll find something that works...
Last night I went to a new little jazz club in the city to see a friend's band play. He's a sax player. And actually he's my ex-boyfriend. Another one. From a very long time ago. Let's call him Grooveboy... (Aha! she finally figured out that if you don't use real names you can say juicy stuff about people!)
So, I went on my own and got there as they were just about to start. I found a stool at the bar & ordered a glass of white wine and watched the first few songs. And thought to myself - it's so weird, I really loved that guy once. I'd say he was my first real love. And you know how that goes, so fierce and naive. And now, I don't. At all.
It's funny what years and life experience can do. I mean I am still friends with the guy, don't see him all that often but I did go to his wedding (well, one of three - long story but he met an English girl on a cruise ship and that meant three wedding ceremonies). Watching him play used to fill me with such pride and admiration, now mostly what I feel is irritation - his ego is so huge, he really gets off on himself and I find that quite annoying.
Interestingly, so does his wife sometimes. She is a blonde dancer who is very down to earth and I think is great for him because she keeps him grounded. During one prolonged solo bit she rolled her eyes and whispered in my ear "Get on with it then! God, he can be SO self-indulgent. This bit gets longer and longer every time!". I had to laugh.
And I had to laugh even harder, albeit on the inside, when I heard about her latest job. She couldn't tell me in front of his parents, she had to whisper that she's working at the Men's Gallery. At first I thought she meant bar tending but it became apparent that she meant dancing... or stripping.
Excellent money apparently.
I didn't ask too many questions although I wish now that I had. I do know that she doesn't make as much as some of the girls because she's not "plastic fantastic" - ie she has a very nice but normal body. But she doesn't leave before she's made $300 a night. And the girls have to pay to work there - I think it was $60/night, so she has to cover that and then start on her $300.
I wonder whether I could do something like that. I don't think so. I'd have to be pretty desperate I think. But if you were a dancer and had lots of confidence I guess it would be easy money...
Let me tell you I have never had warts, and I don't intend to start now. Warts belong on witches and toads, not on me.
It looked not unlike this:
Fig 1: Not actual thumb depicted, this is another similar growth that has since appeared on my middle finger. But this is what it did look like. Not much, just a little red raised lump. Like my macro work, Deb?
So, I went immediately to the Chemist and asked if she had something for warts. I didn't even want to say it out loud, it's such an icky word.
She examined my thumb and said it didn't look like a wart. Warts are hairy. I asked what else it could be. She said maybe it was a blister. It was not a blister.
So I got the wart stuff and went home. It is quite complicated - you have to put something around the wart to protect the rest of your skin, then apply the stuff, and then cover with a bandaid. And then try not to get it wet. Yeah right.
I used clear nail polish around it as suggested, and diligently applied the stuff every day for a week. I did get it wet, you can't really help that with showers and hand washing and such.
Now, it looks like this:
Fig 2: Actual thumb depicted.
Notice how red and angry looking the thing is? It hurts like buggery. I have effectively been burning a hole in my thumb with acid. Now I don't really know what to do about it. Continue until there is no sign of a wart left or I reach bone, whichever comes sooner? Put burn cream on it to try and heal it? It looks like it will scar, so now rather than having a big ugly wart on my thumb I will have a big ugly scar. Just what a pianist needs!
And if you read the fineprint earlier you will have noticed that another one of these growths has sprung up on my middle finger of the other hand. I'm not burning this one off, I'll wait and see what it does.
If anyone has any experience with warts and/or is a dermatologist - please help??? I was so afraid of having ugly warty hands that I may have made a big mistake trying to burn this thing off...
In other news I am cranky with Chester today because he did a big pee on the carpet right by the front door. And this is not an isolated incident - he has done several pees in the house recently. The annoying thing is I can't really even tell him off, it's not his fault.
Chester is totally housetrained and knows not to pee inside. He can usually hold on for a very long time - all night and then some. Since he started collapsing etc, the vet told me to keep him out of the heat, and not take him for walks (there is a strong possibility something around his heart could explode). So I have been keeping him inside a lot. Also when I try to put him outside when I go out, he often refuses to come. And I am a big softie and let him stay inside. Furthermore, he is on fluid tablets which should make him pee more.
So when I went to the gym and it was raining, I let him in the house, and came home to wet carpet. Not his fault really. He is currently outside, squeaking to be let in. I am being strong.
Yes, the gym, I went again today! That's three times this week. It was a good workout today, short and to the point. There was a girl there doing some amazing balancing stuff on one of those fitballs, and I wondered whether she is a gymnast or circus performer. I must have been staring because a middle-aged sweaty man asked me whether I can do that. "Nowhere near," I replied, startled out of my circus fantasy.
I was a bit annoyed because my i-pod shuffle that I used once before it stopped working has been fixed - YAY - but I forgot to bring it - BOO! Putting it in the gym bag right now so I can't forget again.
I bought two tambourines yesterday. Our producer has always complained that mine sounds shit on tape (even though it has cool gold stars on it) and a tambourine part is the last thing I have left to record on the album. So I went to buy a new one and was shocked by just how many different sounding tambourines there are. I thought it would be a straightforward purchase!!! In the end I couldn't decide and they are pretty cheap so I got two - both wooden, one mahogany with one row of "jingles" and one plywood I think, something cheaper, but with two rows of jingles. The one I already have is a RhythmTech, that is the standard professional tambourine and costs 3 times as much as the others I bought. So I am skeptical about whether they'll be better. I asked Robbie about it later, and he said it's not necessarily the brand, but each individual tambourine sounds different. So you can get good RhythmTech ones and bad ones. You have to go through the whole box. Apparently. I'm sure I couldn't hear the difference between them, but there is a surprising amount of difference between the different brands/styles. So we'll see how we go. Surely with 3 options we'll find something that works...
Last night I went to a new little jazz club in the city to see a friend's band play. He's a sax player. And actually he's my ex-boyfriend. Another one. From a very long time ago. Let's call him Grooveboy... (Aha! she finally figured out that if you don't use real names you can say juicy stuff about people!)
So, I went on my own and got there as they were just about to start. I found a stool at the bar & ordered a glass of white wine and watched the first few songs. And thought to myself - it's so weird, I really loved that guy once. I'd say he was my first real love. And you know how that goes, so fierce and naive. And now, I don't. At all.
It's funny what years and life experience can do. I mean I am still friends with the guy, don't see him all that often but I did go to his wedding (well, one of three - long story but he met an English girl on a cruise ship and that meant three wedding ceremonies). Watching him play used to fill me with such pride and admiration, now mostly what I feel is irritation - his ego is so huge, he really gets off on himself and I find that quite annoying.
Interestingly, so does his wife sometimes. She is a blonde dancer who is very down to earth and I think is great for him because she keeps him grounded. During one prolonged solo bit she rolled her eyes and whispered in my ear "Get on with it then! God, he can be SO self-indulgent. This bit gets longer and longer every time!". I had to laugh.
And I had to laugh even harder, albeit on the inside, when I heard about her latest job. She couldn't tell me in front of his parents, she had to whisper that she's working at the Men's Gallery. At first I thought she meant bar tending but it became apparent that she meant dancing... or stripping.
Excellent money apparently.
I didn't ask too many questions although I wish now that I had. I do know that she doesn't make as much as some of the girls because she's not "plastic fantastic" - ie she has a very nice but normal body. But she doesn't leave before she's made $300 a night. And the girls have to pay to work there - I think it was $60/night, so she has to cover that and then start on her $300.
I wonder whether I could do something like that. I don't think so. I'd have to be pretty desperate I think. But if you were a dancer and had lots of confidence I guess it would be easy money...
posted by Aussie Rock Chick at 2:46 PM
13 Comments:
Fabulous macro there, Cara, fabulous! You really captured the puss and gore quite nicely… ew!
I've heard that Jazz musicians are rather self absorbed and generally not too much fun :P
dancing in a men's club tho... I dunno if I could do something like that, but I suppose if you've got it, you might as well flaunt it and earn some bucks on the side.
I think about my 'first love' heaps but we're not in touch anymore. In fact the last time I heard from him was 3 days before my wedding... Ah, I'm sure that could possibly have my one chance of living a real life feel-good hollywood chick flick right there, lol.
Hope the lumps on your hands clear up... I dunno if they are warts tho... Maybe give the wart removal stuff a miss for a few days, just in case?
Deb
www.paintwi...yeah you know who i am lol...
Could they be callouses?
When I first started using the rowing machine I got these little hardish bumps on my palms but it was just because my sissy,girl hands weren't used to the hard labour of pulling on the bar of the machine.
Have you been doing anything which might rub your thumb (a long shot I know, but you never know?)
I'd suggest the wart stuff is making it worse and not doing much fixing, maybe try smothering it with moisturiser or pawpaw ointment to try and soften it. (I'd try it on the fresh one and just leave the poor, oozing one alone for a bit to dry out and heal.)
Good luck with whatever it is that is taking over your hands, I hate having gross looking injuries (I am very much a sissy when it comes to blood and guts of any sort), I hope they go away for you soon!
The thing about warts being hairy is wrong - I don't think they are!
I am currently treating a group of three on my foot - I took them to the doctor and got them frozen twice in the same month and was pummicing them and they looked gone - but they weren't. I was going to buy the treat stuff you have, but was put off by the having to protect the rest of it, so I bought the stick instead. It says to use it for two weeks - I'm on about ten days and all the skin I've been covering is lifting up and off. That said, mine is on my foot and has been there for yeaaaaaaaaaars and isn't a mystery bump on my finger... I can sooo send you a pic to outgross yours!
But I hope yours fixes up by leaving it alone for a little bit.
I had a giant wart on my index finger about 10 years ago. I tried all sorts of acidy things and they were all quite painful but completely useless. In the end I just covered it with a bandaid for a few weeks until it died and I pulled it out by the roots. That hurt a bit too but not as much as the acid.
A friend of mine who used to live in Irian Jaya swore that the best way to get rid of the wart would have been to cover it with banana skin instead of a bandaid but I couldn;t figure out how to play bass with a banana strapped to my index finger so I didn't try that one.
I have a spare tambourine that you can borrow if you ever need another one.
INC is spot on with the banana peel - you only have to google it to see all the results! When I had one on my foot years ago the banana worked (I figured mine were too deep for that this time - wish I'd tried it first) coz of all the potassium. They also say you can just keep it on there overnight and it will do the trick.
Good thing I don't play jazz anymore then hey Deb?
Ok the warts...
Jen I really don't think they're callouses, they appeared before I started the gym regime and I haven't been doing anything that could have caused them (that I can think of!). I'm pretty sure they're growths, they're raised and tender. Pawpaw is a good suggestion though, I will have to get some. That stuff's good for everything, a totally worthwhile investment!! Unlike WartOff TM.
INC - you are a genius!! I've heard that about banana peel before, but forgotten since I'd never had need for it. Until now.
And, I now remember another wart cure from when I was really young. A friend of mine (when I was about 5) had lots of warts all over her hands etc. One of our mums' friends, Davia, was a bit eccentric, and one day offered to buy Kate's warts off her for 2c each. The mums all laughed but played along, and Kate sold all her warts to Davia, making enough for a bag of mixed lollies (quite a big one in those days!!).
To everyone's disbelief, not long after, Kate was completely wart free!
So... I am hereby auctioning off my warts to the highest bidder. I have two.
Starting the bids @ 2c ea... any takers?
Payment will be accepted in the form of cheque, money order, direct deposit or mixed lollies.
PS: INC - that's a very generous offer, if we don't get what we need from the three tambourines I have I will be in touch!!!
I bid 3 cents and a red frog for the pussy one.
P.S) How can a cute kitten and a sore that's seeping have the same name?
And the lady bits! Don't forget that pussy!
Any advances on 3 cents and a red frog? Anyone?
Ewww!!! I'll give you a couple of expired mucks sticks and a fag to make them go away just so i dont have to look at them anymore...
Speaking of Jazz...
I like it! I think...? I don't actually know much about it. Could you refer a couple of good albums to have a listen to, chicka?
Deb
Damnit! No wonder i failed my typing test today... I meant 'MUSK' sticks!
Kind of Blue by Miles Davis is a great place to start, it's a classic, classic album. Do you like instrumental stuff or prefer singing? Mellow, swinging or funky? I'll have a bit more of a think and get back to you.
Any more bidders on the warts? Remember folks, this is your chance to have a stake in a rockstar's future...
One armadillo for both warts.
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