Discussions
One night this week, Adam and I had a pretty serious discussion. I had called him, quite late as I had had something on every night this week and we hadn't spoken much. It was midnight my time which meant 11pm his time (Brisbane doens't have daylight savings because they are idiots). Chances are, he'd still be up.
He was not.
So he was a bit cranky at being gotten out of bed. Even though he hadn't actually been asleep. Fair enough though, once you're in bed for the night that's usually it, it's a bit of an effort to get out of bed to answer the phone. I asked if he wanted to go back to bed and talk another time but he said no. We chatted for a while and he didn't snap out of his grumpy mood, which is unusual for him. I asked if something was up. He reluctantly said yes.
There were a few reasons he was upset, and I think most of it boiled down to him being up in Brisbane all alone, starved of affection, and me being down in Melbourne busy every night having fun and only emailing or calling when I need something or want to tell him all about my fantastic day or complain about something. I have been totally absorbed in my own little world and not really interested in his. Also, I had forgotten to update him on the Dave situation, and he was worried about what was happening between us. This sparked a big discussion about trust, which was very hard. When I get very drunk, I do not always do smart things. I sometimes behave in a manner which does not promote trust. I become very flirtatious and do a lot of things that I don't really remember the next day. This has caused a bit of insecurity on Adam's behalf, which is no surprise. I tell him he doesn't need to worry, but it is very hard because I do not remember these things properly and so have trouble explaining even to myself why they happen. So I guess every time I go out without Adam, he is worried about what might happen, and this week with me out nearly every night it was all too much.
As hard as this discussion was, it was very well timed. I really did think about what he said and with all that's been going on I have been very self-involved. I did feel though, that he hadn't given me credit for some of the nice things I had said and done. I'm not saying he was wrong, but that I'm not a complete ogre!! Anyway it was good to discuss it and to remind me that he is very lonely up there and I need to remind him in as many ways as possible how special he is to me. Also, the bit about trust etc, came in very handy the next night...
He was not.
So he was a bit cranky at being gotten out of bed. Even though he hadn't actually been asleep. Fair enough though, once you're in bed for the night that's usually it, it's a bit of an effort to get out of bed to answer the phone. I asked if he wanted to go back to bed and talk another time but he said no. We chatted for a while and he didn't snap out of his grumpy mood, which is unusual for him. I asked if something was up. He reluctantly said yes.
There were a few reasons he was upset, and I think most of it boiled down to him being up in Brisbane all alone, starved of affection, and me being down in Melbourne busy every night having fun and only emailing or calling when I need something or want to tell him all about my fantastic day or complain about something. I have been totally absorbed in my own little world and not really interested in his. Also, I had forgotten to update him on the Dave situation, and he was worried about what was happening between us. This sparked a big discussion about trust, which was very hard. When I get very drunk, I do not always do smart things. I sometimes behave in a manner which does not promote trust. I become very flirtatious and do a lot of things that I don't really remember the next day. This has caused a bit of insecurity on Adam's behalf, which is no surprise. I tell him he doesn't need to worry, but it is very hard because I do not remember these things properly and so have trouble explaining even to myself why they happen. So I guess every time I go out without Adam, he is worried about what might happen, and this week with me out nearly every night it was all too much.
As hard as this discussion was, it was very well timed. I really did think about what he said and with all that's been going on I have been very self-involved. I did feel though, that he hadn't given me credit for some of the nice things I had said and done. I'm not saying he was wrong, but that I'm not a complete ogre!! Anyway it was good to discuss it and to remind me that he is very lonely up there and I need to remind him in as many ways as possible how special he is to me. Also, the bit about trust etc, came in very handy the next night...
posted by Aussie Rock Chick at 3:00 AM
1 Comments:
I think you guys have an incredibly healthy relationship.
Adam has always seemed very confident and trusting in your 'fidelity' (if that's an appropriate word to use; if not, please substitute your own), and now you're talking honestly about your side of it. It's very refreshing, and I really don't think either one of you has anything to worry about. You're both obviously very cool & wonderful people, and you clearly make an excellent pair.
*ding*
Next patient, please!
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